A couple of weeks ago, I was so overwhelmed looking at my Christmas To Do List. I'm making progress climbing that mountain, thankfully, but I can't say I've been knocked down with the spirit of the holidays like I was last year. I'm enjoying in in a different, quieter way this year. A few Christmas carols make me cry every single time I hear them. Sitting in the dark looking at my Christmas tree is my favorite activity most days. Laying on the couch to watch A Christmas Carol sounds like the most festive thing I'm up for. I've been thinking about Mary and her Baby more than matching wrapping paper, which is more appropriate I suppose, but man! I was so excited about my wrapping paper last year! This year the baking got done, but it felt a bit like a chore. The cards went out, and I was happy to see them go, but I'm not rushing to the mail box everyday to gather in ones received. The shopping is done, and I only have Jeb left to wrap for, but even the thought of all that wrapping left to do makes me tired. Last year I enjoyed wrapping so much, I was actually disappointed when it was done. It's not that I'm not happy, or enjoying this Christmas Season, I'm just floating on the water instead of playing in the waves.
So, my list now looks like:
1 throw a birthday party -- big giant check.
2 buy and finish Christmas cards -- done.
3 shop for everybody -- done.
4 wrap everything -- 75% done.
5 bake 6 dozen cookies for a cookie-trading-thing at work -- never baking another cookie, aka DONE.
6 get a Christmas tree -- check.
7 decorate the tree/house/etc -- everything looks fabu.
8 work more than I want to -- yawn.
9 all the other regular shit that has to get done in a household -- ongoing, double yawn.
I have to work Friday night AND Saturday night (growl), so I told Jeb that Santa is coming Sat night and we will have our Christmas Sunday morning when I get home. I'll then sleep for a few hours and family will come over in the late afternoon for a relatively simple holiday meal.
Simplified, that's the word for my feeling this year. It's working for me.
Showing posts with label seasons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label seasons. Show all posts
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
.... and don't forget to hang up your sock.
Thanksgiving was very good. Chaotic, but good. I have much to be thankful for everyday, and I love honoring it all in an extra special way on Thanksgiving. It's actually my favorite holiday. I love that it doesn't have the stress of Christmas, and it's more about family, food and football.
And now it's officially The Christmas Season. I've had a harder time getting into the spirit this year than last. Man, was I loving every minute of the Christmas Season last year. I was so looking forward to a repeat experience, and I'm dragging my feet admitting I'm not quite there this year. I am loving the music, and so looking forward to our family traditions, but underneath the excitement is a big giant feeling of tired. I feel like I'm standing at the base of a mountain, looking up. I know I'll enjoy the hike once I get going, but I am totally overwhelmed looking at the darn mountain. I have exactly 2 weekends off between now and Christmas, and a few weekdays off. In that time, I have to:
1 throw a birthday party
2 buy and finish Christmas cards
3 shop for everybody
4 wrap everything
5 bake 6 dozen cookies for a cookie-trading-thing at work
6 get a Christmas tree
7 decorate the tree/house/ect
8 work more than I want to
9 all the other regular shit that has to get done in a household
I don't remember feeling as overwhelmed last year, but my list was essentially the same. I am looking forward to doing each individual thing on my list (except maybe numbers 8 & 9). I am super excited about Jeb's birthday, obviously. I love writing and sending Christmas cards. My gift-list is almost complete, so the shopping really won't be that tough. I enjoy wrapping presents. I enjoy baking, especially with Jeb. I LOVE putting up the Christmas tree, however finding a spot to put the toy box temporarily will be a challenge. Each activity is fun, but all together? Overwhelm. I'm disappointed in myself for not feeling more gung-ho.
It's probably just a matter of inertia, and once I get going I'll be more excited.
And now it's officially The Christmas Season. I've had a harder time getting into the spirit this year than last. Man, was I loving every minute of the Christmas Season last year. I was so looking forward to a repeat experience, and I'm dragging my feet admitting I'm not quite there this year. I am loving the music, and so looking forward to our family traditions, but underneath the excitement is a big giant feeling of tired. I feel like I'm standing at the base of a mountain, looking up. I know I'll enjoy the hike once I get going, but I am totally overwhelmed looking at the darn mountain. I have exactly 2 weekends off between now and Christmas, and a few weekdays off. In that time, I have to:
1 throw a birthday party
2 buy and finish Christmas cards
3 shop for everybody
4 wrap everything
5 bake 6 dozen cookies for a cookie-trading-thing at work
6 get a Christmas tree
7 decorate the tree/house/ect
8 work more than I want to
9 all the other regular shit that has to get done in a household
I don't remember feeling as overwhelmed last year, but my list was essentially the same. I am looking forward to doing each individual thing on my list (except maybe numbers 8 & 9). I am super excited about Jeb's birthday, obviously. I love writing and sending Christmas cards. My gift-list is almost complete, so the shopping really won't be that tough. I enjoy wrapping presents. I enjoy baking, especially with Jeb. I LOVE putting up the Christmas tree, however finding a spot to put the toy box temporarily will be a challenge. Each activity is fun, but all together? Overwhelm. I'm disappointed in myself for not feeling more gung-ho.
It's probably just a matter of inertia, and once I get going I'll be more excited.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
November will always hold a special place in my heart.
Today Jeb and I were outside, kicking leaves, and I thought of a private journal entry I wrote last year:
November always makes me think of those weeks I waited for Jeb's arrival. He was supposed to be a November baby. Throughout the pregnancy I fantasized about the familiar sights and smells that November brings, thinking they would be the sights and smells of early labor and early newborn-ness. It was not to be (as he was 2 weeks "late"), and now those sights and smells bring me back to a place of w a i t i n g. My boy is now quickly closing in on 2 (eta 3!) , which is too much to think about sometimes.
As Jeb's birthday approaches, I can't help but get transported back in time, and relive the days/weeks/moments of excitement/anticipation/nerves leading up to his birth. The same thing happens as I approach Colin's birthday each year. I'm happy that their births are opposite each other on the calendar. Each May as I remember Colin's beginnings, my thoughts and feelings are drawn to: buds on trees, longer days, new life at every glance, a general feeling of stepping outside and giving new life. Each November (turned December) as I remember Jeb's beginnings, my thoughts and feelings are drawn to: crisp evenings, falling leaves, shorter days, and turning inward to begin mothering. It feels just right.
Welcome, November, it's good to feel you again.
November always makes me think of those weeks I waited for Jeb's arrival. He was supposed to be a November baby. Throughout the pregnancy I fantasized about the familiar sights and smells that November brings, thinking they would be the sights and smells of early labor and early newborn-ness. It was not to be (as he was 2 weeks "late"), and now those sights and smells bring me back to a place of w a i t i n g. My boy is now quickly closing in on 2 (eta 3!) , which is too much to think about sometimes.
As Jeb's birthday approaches, I can't help but get transported back in time, and relive the days/weeks/moments of excitement/anticipation/nerves leading up to his birth. The same thing happens as I approach Colin's birthday each year. I'm happy that their births are opposite each other on the calendar. Each May as I remember Colin's beginnings, my thoughts and feelings are drawn to: buds on trees, longer days, new life at every glance, a general feeling of stepping outside and giving new life. Each November (turned December) as I remember Jeb's beginnings, my thoughts and feelings are drawn to: crisp evenings, falling leaves, shorter days, and turning inward to begin mothering. It feels just right.
Welcome, November, it's good to feel you again.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Finally some Fall pictures!
I finally had my camera charged AND available at the same time just in time for pumpkin carving. What a blast!
First, though, some Autumn art. We picked up some leaves off the ground outside and then painted and glued. So easy, and so fun.
Can you tell someone is excited to carve pumpkins?!
I told him to reach in for some of the goop...
but he didn't like getting his hands dirty AT ALL, and immediately went to wash them off!
My nickname for him has always been Pumpkin, I don't even know why. It just kind of happened, but it makes this kind of thing even more fun, my Pumpkin with his pumpkins :)
The two of us. Man, are we tight.
And, this has nothing to do with pumpkins, but it is so fucking cute I can't stand it.
Can't wait to see everyone's Halloween pictures! Jeb is so excited to be Captain Hook. I can't wait!
First, though, some Autumn art. We picked up some leaves off the ground outside and then painted and glued. So easy, and so fun.
Can you tell someone is excited to carve pumpkins?!
I told him to reach in for some of the goop...
but he didn't like getting his hands dirty AT ALL, and immediately went to wash them off!
My nickname for him has always been Pumpkin, I don't even know why. It just kind of happened, but it makes this kind of thing even more fun, my Pumpkin with his pumpkins :)
The two of us. Man, are we tight.
And, this has nothing to do with pumpkins, but it is so fucking cute I can't stand it.
Can't wait to see everyone's Halloween pictures! Jeb is so excited to be Captain Hook. I can't wait!
Friday, October 22, 2010
A Brain Dump
There have been several things I've wanted to blog about in the last 10 days, but they've all been competing for space in my head so badly, that I haven't been able to write coherently on any of them. So, I'm just going to brain dump and get over it.
1. An anniversary related to my placement happened this week. On Oct 19, 1997 I got a positive pregnancy test. I was 9w5d. It boggles my mind that I was so far along before taking a test, but I was so young and unaware. And, my cycles were irregular. When I was pregnant with Jeb, by the time I reached 9w5d, I thought to myself geez if I didn't know I were pregnant I'd think I was dying... how did I NOT KNOW? But? Youth and denial are powerful forces. And, pregnancy was so much easier at 17 than 27, ....and so many other things. I should really make a blog post solely about that day.
2. Autumn has been good to my family. B's business is going well. Our personal finances are so much better than they were 6 months ago when I wrote about the crippling money stress. We have had all the typical, awesome, family outings. We've visited the pumpkin patch, picked apples, gone to the County Fair, taken walks through crunching leaves, seen the Jack-O-Lantern display at the zoo, and all that good stuff. Of course, I forgot my camera for every.singe.one. of these awesome memories, but I'm trying not to beat myself up for it ;) We have still to watch Charlie Brown's Great Pumpkin while eating donuts and cider (a family tradition), and obviously we are looking forward to trick or treating in a big way. Jeb is dressing up as Captain Hook, and is so unbelievably excited to wear: A red jacket, mama! And a gold hook, mama!! Arrggghh!!
3. I am enjoying Fall on a whole different, much quieter level. I am heeding the pull indoors. Cooking hearty meals in the slow cooker. Snuggling under blankets to early morning cartoons, and to late evening movies/snacks. It feels strangely comforting to retire the herb garden and drink hot tea every afternoon. I'm appreciating my outside running, but am also looking forward to hanging out on the treadmill (no hills!), and reuniting with my yoga videos. The sunsets, albeit much earlier, seem so much more vibrant than I remember from the warmer months. I'm enjoying living in a place that shows me the beauty of every season, and commands my attention.
4. Jeb is at a new, ahem, developmental stage. Oh, boy. I revelled in his lack of 2-year-terribles. However, he is quickly approaching the even-more-difficult-3s. And it's not even that he's difficult, he's just smarter. I've lost my patience with him more in the last 3 weeks than in the last 6 months. My usually effective tactics just aren't working. A perfect example is when we are in the laundry room and it's time to go upstairs, I say Come'on Jeb, let's race! That used to work like a charm, now he looks at me and says Go ahead, mama, you can win while he tries to stay in the basement and play with any number of dangerous tools/equipment/toxins. Or, it used to be that when he fought with me about something, I would tell him that he wasn't being a good listener, and that alone would compel him to comply... now? He tells me I don't want to listen. Oh, ok. We've gone through other developmental transitions, and I know it just takes time for me to learn his new buttons, and for him to learn my new limits, but the middle part is sticky. Last week, one day he went to time out 6 times, because he was trying to call my bluff. The threat of time out used to be all-powerful, and then he woke up one day and decided to test it. That was a tough day. We'll get through, and I'm acutely aware that I need to (a. be consistent and firm, but not lose it, and (b. hug and validate him even more that usual. Let's just say that I'm finding this stage to be challenging, and when I lay my head down at night and think back on the day... if I didn't lose it on him, it's a good day.
5. The election. I won't get political here, but the election is on my mind often. B is a political junkie, so it's ever-present. I'm looking forward to post-11.2.
6. Hormones. I think maybe they should be called Whoremones, because I hate them. I am in the throes of one of the worst PMSs I can remember. I'm def not pregnant this month, which is OK, for a lot of reasons, but the PMS is just a slap in the face.
7. Gratitude. Honestly, I say a prayer of gratitude daily. Not because I think I should, it just happens. In the midst of toddler tantrums, and stressfull/busy schedules, hormones, and daily irritations, I am struck every single day with just how blessed my life is. I am eternally grateful that my "stressors" are: a job that needs my work, a healthy body that loves to exercise, a smart and healthy son who challenges me, a hard working and loving husband who wants some of my time, enough money to pay our bills and provide good food, a home that needs attention.
/end brain dump.
1. An anniversary related to my placement happened this week. On Oct 19, 1997 I got a positive pregnancy test. I was 9w5d. It boggles my mind that I was so far along before taking a test, but I was so young and unaware. And, my cycles were irregular. When I was pregnant with Jeb, by the time I reached 9w5d, I thought to myself geez if I didn't know I were pregnant I'd think I was dying... how did I NOT KNOW? But? Youth and denial are powerful forces. And, pregnancy was so much easier at 17 than 27, ....and so many other things. I should really make a blog post solely about that day.
2. Autumn has been good to my family. B's business is going well. Our personal finances are so much better than they were 6 months ago when I wrote about the crippling money stress. We have had all the typical, awesome, family outings. We've visited the pumpkin patch, picked apples, gone to the County Fair, taken walks through crunching leaves, seen the Jack-O-Lantern display at the zoo, and all that good stuff. Of course, I forgot my camera for every.singe.one. of these awesome memories, but I'm trying not to beat myself up for it ;) We have still to watch Charlie Brown's Great Pumpkin while eating donuts and cider (a family tradition), and obviously we are looking forward to trick or treating in a big way. Jeb is dressing up as Captain Hook, and is so unbelievably excited to wear: A red jacket, mama! And a gold hook, mama!! Arrggghh!!
3. I am enjoying Fall on a whole different, much quieter level. I am heeding the pull indoors. Cooking hearty meals in the slow cooker. Snuggling under blankets to early morning cartoons, and to late evening movies/snacks. It feels strangely comforting to retire the herb garden and drink hot tea every afternoon. I'm appreciating my outside running, but am also looking forward to hanging out on the treadmill (no hills!), and reuniting with my yoga videos. The sunsets, albeit much earlier, seem so much more vibrant than I remember from the warmer months. I'm enjoying living in a place that shows me the beauty of every season, and commands my attention.
4. Jeb is at a new, ahem, developmental stage. Oh, boy. I revelled in his lack of 2-year-terribles. However, he is quickly approaching the even-more-difficult-3s. And it's not even that he's difficult, he's just smarter. I've lost my patience with him more in the last 3 weeks than in the last 6 months. My usually effective tactics just aren't working. A perfect example is when we are in the laundry room and it's time to go upstairs, I say Come'on Jeb, let's race! That used to work like a charm, now he looks at me and says Go ahead, mama, you can win while he tries to stay in the basement and play with any number of dangerous tools/equipment/toxins. Or, it used to be that when he fought with me about something, I would tell him that he wasn't being a good listener, and that alone would compel him to comply... now? He tells me I don't want to listen. Oh, ok. We've gone through other developmental transitions, and I know it just takes time for me to learn his new buttons, and for him to learn my new limits, but the middle part is sticky. Last week, one day he went to time out 6 times, because he was trying to call my bluff. The threat of time out used to be all-powerful, and then he woke up one day and decided to test it. That was a tough day. We'll get through, and I'm acutely aware that I need to (a. be consistent and firm, but not lose it, and (b. hug and validate him even more that usual. Let's just say that I'm finding this stage to be challenging, and when I lay my head down at night and think back on the day... if I didn't lose it on him, it's a good day.
5. The election. I won't get political here, but the election is on my mind often. B is a political junkie, so it's ever-present. I'm looking forward to post-11.2.
6. Hormones. I think maybe they should be called Whoremones, because I hate them. I am in the throes of one of the worst PMSs I can remember. I'm def not pregnant this month, which is OK, for a lot of reasons, but the PMS is just a slap in the face.
7. Gratitude. Honestly, I say a prayer of gratitude daily. Not because I think I should, it just happens. In the midst of toddler tantrums, and stressfull/busy schedules, hormones, and daily irritations, I am struck every single day with just how blessed my life is. I am eternally grateful that my "stressors" are: a job that needs my work, a healthy body that loves to exercise, a smart and healthy son who challenges me, a hard working and loving husband who wants some of my time, enough money to pay our bills and provide good food, a home that needs attention.
/end brain dump.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Oh, hello there, Autumn.
I'm feeling tired and disorganized (ok, and hormonal). My house looks like it usually does at the end of my heavy work-week: also tired and disorganized. We had some family visiting from out of town this weekend, so the usually small amount of down-time was even smaller -- filled with more dishes and less house work. I struggle without my regularly scheduled down-time. Hello, my name is Patti, and I'm an introvert.
Suddenly it is Fall. I didn't notice Summer waving goodbye, it was so subtle. Just a few degrees here, a few moments of sunlight there. Throw in some busy days and errands, and poof! It was the middle of September and Jeb was wearing pants-jammies instead of shorts-jammies. I do feel a twinge of sadness, mostly in the evenings when I look at the clock and immediately do the math for when daylight savings ends. Wow, is it only 6:30? Soon it will be this dim at only 5:30. (sad face) Our Summer was so terrific, but by the end of August I was really looking forward to exactly this. Mums on the porch. Watching the trees for signs of change. Digging my (super cute) jean jacket out of the closet. Enjoying my runs again. Visiting the pumpkin patch and the apple orchard. Snuggling my husband under the covers instead of trying to get as far from each other as possible. Fires in the chiminea. Dinners in the slow cooker. Halloween decorations, which are my favorite decorations of ALL TIME. Pumpkin flavored coffee. The County Fair. Is it too early to make Witch Hat Cookies?
As of 7am I am off for 5 nights. Thank goodness because I really miss my family.
Suddenly it is Fall. I didn't notice Summer waving goodbye, it was so subtle. Just a few degrees here, a few moments of sunlight there. Throw in some busy days and errands, and poof! It was the middle of September and Jeb was wearing pants-jammies instead of shorts-jammies. I do feel a twinge of sadness, mostly in the evenings when I look at the clock and immediately do the math for when daylight savings ends. Wow, is it only 6:30? Soon it will be this dim at only 5:30. (sad face) Our Summer was so terrific, but by the end of August I was really looking forward to exactly this. Mums on the porch. Watching the trees for signs of change. Digging my (super cute) jean jacket out of the closet. Enjoying my runs again. Visiting the pumpkin patch and the apple orchard. Snuggling my husband under the covers instead of trying to get as far from each other as possible. Fires in the chiminea. Dinners in the slow cooker. Halloween decorations, which are my favorite decorations of ALL TIME. Pumpkin flavored coffee. The County Fair. Is it too early to make Witch Hat Cookies?
As of 7am I am off for 5 nights. Thank goodness because I really miss my family.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Summer Lovin'
I had high hopes for this summer, and boy, I've not been let down. This summer has been everything I wanted, and more.
It's my first summer not being pregnant or nursing since 2006 and I was really looking forward to wearing summer clothes without thinking about nursing bras or mammary exposure, ect. I hadn't worn a sun dress in years! I enjoy getting dressed literally every single day like never beofre!
Another very vain reason I am loving this summer, and loving getting dressed every day is that I've gotten into great shape. And enjoyed the process. In fact, I've enjoyed the process as much as I enjoy dressing the results. My body is certainly not what it was 10 or even 5 years ago, but I feel stronger than ever. Even though my tummy is not as flat as it once was, and my breasts show the signs of nursing for >2 years, I feel more confident in my body than I ever have. I love my body more than I ever have; I enjoy flirting with my husband, and trying to attract him every day. His reaction only reinforces that my attitude and my femininity are even more appealing than the smaller waist he fell in love with years ago.
Jeb's at such a great age, and his independence has given us a much higher level of freedom as a family. He no longer falls asleep on any car ride longer than 10 minutes, which means we can go on so many more family adventures without fear of messing with the nap schedule. He still naps, which is also still very convenient. We get to do stuff that delights and teaches him, which delights and teaches us as well.
Jeb also loves the occasional sleep over with Grandma or Gran or Aunt Jenny, which has allowed husband and I to go on some really fun dates. I can't even explain how awesome this has been. We both miss Jeb like crazy when we're away, but let's face it, it only helps to nurture a marriage. And Jeb has so much fun! And our family loves to take him for the night! It's win win win!
This has been the Summer of Mama and Jeb. The weather has been heaven sent. This has been the most gorgeous summer I can remember. We've gone on outings. To the park, the pool, the beach, the zoo. We've had dinner picnics in our yard. We've spent afternoons playing in the sprinkler and the sandbox. Jeb has gone days without really getting dressed, spending most of his time naked, or at the very most in a diaper. We've gone to story time at the library every Monday morning and brought home Jeb's art to hang on the fridge each week. We've taken walks, picked up sticks, and sang 'We Can Fly!' from Peter Pan while running around the yard more times than I can count. We've blown bubbles and covered the patio with sidewalk chalk over and over. We've sat out in the cool evening air with Popsicles dripping down our wrists, talking about what an awesome summer day we had. We've taken more naps together than I can count, each of us as naked as possible, with the ceiling fan humming and a light sheet draped over our cuddling bodies. We've picked strawberries, trying our best not to sample too many before we paid for our lot, giggling all the while. We've taken days "off" and hunkered down in the AC for a whole lot of nothing: no errands, no heat, no cleaning, no business, LOTS of cuddles. It's been a summer to remember, for sure.
And it's only half over.
I've also worked a lot, stressed a lot, and cleaned not as much as I should have. But I know that my memory with be of the highlights, and there have been many.
I'm hoping to add to our family some time next year, and I'm acutely aware of the luxuries of time, space, and body that I may soon forfeit for 2-3 years while I grow and nurse the next member. I'm simultaneously enjoying my freedoms and looking forward to giving them up. It's the exact assignment I gave myself for the summer: enjoy Jeb, enjoy Bennett, enjoy time and sleep and running, look forward to another baby.
I can't wait to love the 2nd half of this summer as much as I've loved the 1st half.
It's my first summer not being pregnant or nursing since 2006 and I was really looking forward to wearing summer clothes without thinking about nursing bras or mammary exposure, ect. I hadn't worn a sun dress in years! I enjoy getting dressed literally every single day like never beofre!
Another very vain reason I am loving this summer, and loving getting dressed every day is that I've gotten into great shape. And enjoyed the process. In fact, I've enjoyed the process as much as I enjoy dressing the results. My body is certainly not what it was 10 or even 5 years ago, but I feel stronger than ever. Even though my tummy is not as flat as it once was, and my breasts show the signs of nursing for >2 years, I feel more confident in my body than I ever have. I love my body more than I ever have; I enjoy flirting with my husband, and trying to attract him every day. His reaction only reinforces that my attitude and my femininity are even more appealing than the smaller waist he fell in love with years ago.
Jeb's at such a great age, and his independence has given us a much higher level of freedom as a family. He no longer falls asleep on any car ride longer than 10 minutes, which means we can go on so many more family adventures without fear of messing with the nap schedule. He still naps, which is also still very convenient. We get to do stuff that delights and teaches him, which delights and teaches us as well.
Jeb also loves the occasional sleep over with Grandma or Gran or Aunt Jenny, which has allowed husband and I to go on some really fun dates. I can't even explain how awesome this has been. We both miss Jeb like crazy when we're away, but let's face it, it only helps to nurture a marriage. And Jeb has so much fun! And our family loves to take him for the night! It's win win win!
This has been the Summer of Mama and Jeb. The weather has been heaven sent. This has been the most gorgeous summer I can remember. We've gone on outings. To the park, the pool, the beach, the zoo. We've had dinner picnics in our yard. We've spent afternoons playing in the sprinkler and the sandbox. Jeb has gone days without really getting dressed, spending most of his time naked, or at the very most in a diaper. We've gone to story time at the library every Monday morning and brought home Jeb's art to hang on the fridge each week. We've taken walks, picked up sticks, and sang 'We Can Fly!' from Peter Pan while running around the yard more times than I can count. We've blown bubbles and covered the patio with sidewalk chalk over and over. We've sat out in the cool evening air with Popsicles dripping down our wrists, talking about what an awesome summer day we had. We've taken more naps together than I can count, each of us as naked as possible, with the ceiling fan humming and a light sheet draped over our cuddling bodies. We've picked strawberries, trying our best not to sample too many before we paid for our lot, giggling all the while. We've taken days "off" and hunkered down in the AC for a whole lot of nothing: no errands, no heat, no cleaning, no business, LOTS of cuddles. It's been a summer to remember, for sure.
And it's only half over.
I've also worked a lot, stressed a lot, and cleaned not as much as I should have. But I know that my memory with be of the highlights, and there have been many.
I'm hoping to add to our family some time next year, and I'm acutely aware of the luxuries of time, space, and body that I may soon forfeit for 2-3 years while I grow and nurse the next member. I'm simultaneously enjoying my freedoms and looking forward to giving them up. It's the exact assignment I gave myself for the summer: enjoy Jeb, enjoy Bennett, enjoy time and sleep and running, look forward to another baby.
I can't wait to love the 2nd half of this summer as much as I've loved the 1st half.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
It's April
What is it about the calender saying APRIL that just feels so damn good? Maybe it's that March always feels like the longest, drab-est month, here in New England. While we still may have some cold nights and gray days, it won't feel so terrible because it's April. It has to warm up soon.
Jeb started daycare yesterday and did great. He was so excited to go play with kids, and proudly carried his tool-box-turned-lunch-box. We don't keep juice in the house, and when he heard he'd get to have juice with a snack at daycare, he was completely sold. When I picked him up in the afternoon, he looked drained and somewhat overstimulated, but happy. It's a long day for a toddler who's not used to that environment! I worked last night, and slept like a rock all day. I woke up, went for a run, took a shower, and picked him up by 4. This is going to be a great schedule for us once we really find our groove. We are scraping up the money, and it will all be fine. I only sent 1 pair of shoes, though, shhhh! Don't tell!
Can I just say how excited I am to play the Easter Bunny this weekend? I've been telling Jeb that in a few nights, while he sleeps, the Easter Bunny will come and leave treats and toys in a basket for him. The other day, he was asking me about a "bucket of chocolate". I was totally confused until it dawned on me. I said "are you talking about the basket with treats that the EB will leave you?" His face LIT UP and he yelled "yes! yes!". I cannot wait to see his face Sunday morning!
Oh, I am just so happy it's April. For the last 6 or 8 months, one of my mantras has been just make it to April. I knew by April, business would be better, the weather would turn, and we'd have our first year of the business behind us. It's been such a huge focal point for me, a giant milestone. I've made it. I made it to April. I don't know what my next milestone will be, or if the metaphorical clouds will parts as much as I've fantasized about, and that's OK for now. Right now, I just want to sit with the calm that I feel knowing we made it to April.
Spring, I have never looked so forward to enjoying your simple gifts. Longer days. Warmer evenings. Planting the garden. Listening to the birds. Casting aside heavy coats. Sleeping with a window open. Smelling the air. Coloring eggs :)
Jeb started daycare yesterday and did great. He was so excited to go play with kids, and proudly carried his tool-box-turned-lunch-box. We don't keep juice in the house, and when he heard he'd get to have juice with a snack at daycare, he was completely sold. When I picked him up in the afternoon, he looked drained and somewhat overstimulated, but happy. It's a long day for a toddler who's not used to that environment! I worked last night, and slept like a rock all day. I woke up, went for a run, took a shower, and picked him up by 4. This is going to be a great schedule for us once we really find our groove. We are scraping up the money, and it will all be fine. I only sent 1 pair of shoes, though, shhhh! Don't tell!
Can I just say how excited I am to play the Easter Bunny this weekend? I've been telling Jeb that in a few nights, while he sleeps, the Easter Bunny will come and leave treats and toys in a basket for him. The other day, he was asking me about a "bucket of chocolate". I was totally confused until it dawned on me. I said "are you talking about the basket with treats that the EB will leave you?" His face LIT UP and he yelled "yes! yes!". I cannot wait to see his face Sunday morning!
Oh, I am just so happy it's April. For the last 6 or 8 months, one of my mantras has been just make it to April. I knew by April, business would be better, the weather would turn, and we'd have our first year of the business behind us. It's been such a huge focal point for me, a giant milestone. I've made it. I made it to April. I don't know what my next milestone will be, or if the metaphorical clouds will parts as much as I've fantasized about, and that's OK for now. Right now, I just want to sit with the calm that I feel knowing we made it to April.
Spring, I have never looked so forward to enjoying your simple gifts. Longer days. Warmer evenings. Planting the garden. Listening to the birds. Casting aside heavy coats. Sleeping with a window open. Smelling the air. Coloring eggs :)
Sunday, December 20, 2009
2009 Blizzard is what They are calling it.
What a weekend. I worked Friday night, and came home Saturday morning to sleep from 0830-1230 (sad face). Bennett and I went to do Jeb's Christmas shopping while Grandma babysat. It was supposed to be a deliciously leisure Sunday afternoon date, but the blizzard was threatening. Husband started a business last Spring: commercial landscape / commercial snow removal, so obviously the Sunday afternoon date was impossible. BTW, shopping for the Small One who kind of gets Santa = so so so much FUN! We had a blast!!
And then Husband left to prepare for the snow, at 3pm. He got home today at 2pm. Twenty-three freaking hours later. It was his first snow fall as a professional-snow-removal-guy :/
The single parenting for 24+ hours was nothing compared to the anxiety of having Husband out in blizzard conditions. I was worried about his physical safety, his anxiety about performing for clients, his absolute fatigue, and, and, and..... I was a wreck. He encountered faulty equipment, lying salt providers, and snow that just.would.not.stop. I was his Ground Control, and helped him out of several jams with my go.ogle abilities. It was hair-raising at times, to say the least. I stayed up way too late, and fed my worry with a little too much wine.
By this morning I was a ball of nervous energy, and decided to bundle up Jeb and myself to go out and at least shovel the stairs and breathe some fresh air. After 25 minutes of dressing the two of us, we went outside, and after approximately 5 minutes, Jeb looked at me and declared "DONE!". We were out just long enough for our clothes to get snowy enough so as to make a nice puddle inside the front door. I put on Elmo and went back out (way too much TV this weekend-- crown me Mother of the Year) because I needed to do SOMETHING instead of refresh the weather channel website and worry about Husband. So, my Virginia-born son hates the snow. His Florida-born mama feels the same.
In the end: Husband is safe but tired. Customers are happy. Small One is doped up on Elmo, but no worse for the wear. Mama is s p e n t, but happy to have the whole family under one roof tonight.
What 19 inches looks like on my back patio:
And then Husband left to prepare for the snow, at 3pm. He got home today at 2pm. Twenty-three freaking hours later. It was his first snow fall as a professional-snow-removal-guy :/
The single parenting for 24+ hours was nothing compared to the anxiety of having Husband out in blizzard conditions. I was worried about his physical safety, his anxiety about performing for clients, his absolute fatigue, and, and, and..... I was a wreck. He encountered faulty equipment, lying salt providers, and snow that just.would.not.stop. I was his Ground Control, and helped him out of several jams with my go.ogle abilities. It was hair-raising at times, to say the least. I stayed up way too late, and fed my worry with a little too much wine.
By this morning I was a ball of nervous energy, and decided to bundle up Jeb and myself to go out and at least shovel the stairs and breathe some fresh air. After 25 minutes of dressing the two of us, we went outside, and after approximately 5 minutes, Jeb looked at me and declared "DONE!". We were out just long enough for our clothes to get snowy enough so as to make a nice puddle inside the front door. I put on Elmo and went back out (way too much TV this weekend-- crown me Mother of the Year) because I needed to do SOMETHING instead of refresh the weather channel website and worry about Husband. So, my Virginia-born son hates the snow. His Florida-born mama feels the same.
In the end: Husband is safe but tired. Customers are happy. Small One is doped up on Elmo, but no worse for the wear. Mama is s p e n t, but happy to have the whole family under one roof tonight.
What 19 inches looks like on my back patio:
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