Climbing the Mountain

A couple of weeks ago, I was so overwhelmed looking at my Christmas To Do List. I'm making progress climbing that mountain, thankfully, but I can't say I've been knocked down with the spirit of the holidays like I was last year. I'm enjoying in in a different, quieter way this year. A few Christmas carols make me cry every single time I hear them. Sitting in the dark looking at my Christmas tree is my favorite activity most days. Laying on the couch to watch A Christmas Carol sounds like the most festive thing I'm up for. I've been thinking about Mary and her Baby more than matching wrapping paper, which is more appropriate I suppose, but man! I was so excited about my wrapping paper last year! This year the baking got done, but it felt a bit like a chore. The cards went out, and I was happy to see them go, but I'm not rushing to the mail box everyday to gather in ones received. The shopping is done, and I only have Jeb left to wrap for, but even the thought of all that wrapping left to do makes me tired. Last year I enjoyed wrapping so much, I was actually disappointed when it was done. It's not that I'm not happy, or enjoying this Christmas Season, I'm just floating on the water instead of playing in the waves.

So, my list now looks like:

1 throw a birthday party -- big giant check.
2 buy and finish Christmas cards -- done.
3 shop for everybody -- done.
4 wrap everything -- 75% done.
5 bake 6 dozen cookies for a cookie-trading-thing at work -- never baking another cookie, aka DONE.
6 get a Christmas tree -- check.
7 decorate the tree/house/etc -- everything looks fabu.
8 work more than I want to -- yawn.
9 all the other regular shit that has to get done in a household -- ongoing, double yawn.


I have to work Friday night AND Saturday night (growl), so I told Jeb that Santa is coming Sat night and we will have our Christmas Sunday morning when I get home. I'll then sleep for a few hours and family will come over in the late afternoon for a relatively simple holiday meal.

Simplified, that's the word for my feeling this year. It's working for me.

Oh, hello there, Autumn.

I'm feeling tired and disorganized (ok, and hormonal). My house looks like it usually does at the end of my heavy work-week: also tired and disorganized. We had some family visiting from out of town this weekend, so the usually small amount of down-time was even smaller -- filled with more dishes and less house work. I struggle without my regularly scheduled down-time. Hello, my name is Patti, and I'm an introvert.



Suddenly it is Fall. I didn't notice Summer waving goodbye, it was so subtle. Just a few degrees here, a few moments of sunlight there. Throw in some busy days and errands, and poof! It was the middle of September and Jeb was wearing pants-jammies instead of shorts-jammies. I do feel a twinge of sadness, mostly in the evenings when I look at the clock and immediately do the math for when daylight savings ends. Wow, is it only 6:30? Soon it will be this dim at only 5:30. (sad face) Our Summer was so terrific, but by the end of August I was really looking forward to exactly this. Mums on the porch. Watching the trees for signs of change. Digging my (super cute) jean jacket out of the closet. Enjoying my runs again. Visiting the pumpkin patch and the apple orchard. Snuggling my husband under the covers instead of trying to get as far from each other as possible. Fires in the chiminea. Dinners in the slow cooker. Halloween decorations, which are my favorite decorations of ALL TIME. Pumpkin flavored coffee. The County Fair. Is it too early to make Witch Hat Cookies?


As of 7am I am off for 5 nights. Thank goodness because I really miss my family.

Too Tired to be Coherent.

I am so, so tired. I am working way too much last week and this week. I was awake for >24 hours 2 different days this week. Jeb STILL DOES NOT SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT. I have been tired since 2007. *yawn*

Starting a week from Tuesday, I have a week off. I am so looking forward to that, I get a little choked up thinking about it.

What a hodgepodge. I can't even think straight I am so tired.

Being a working mama is hard. It's a labor of love, but tonight I'm feeling pretty burnt.

Can't wait to go to sleep in 8 more hours..........