This morning was bad. Jeb was up most of the night, which means so were Bennett and I. Who knows why. Maybe it was because that's just how he rolls some nights. Maybe it was his 2 year molars that have been giving us trouble for 2 months. Maybe his tummy was feeling bloated and gassy like mine was after dinner but couldn't tell me as that is a conversation his verbal skills can't quite support. Maybe it was because it was Monday and he knew daddy had a long day at work ahead of him. Who knows. In fact, I'll probably never know since I've stopped trying to figure these things out. Children are a mystery.
Anyway, it was a bad morning. Jeb and I were both tired and cranky. I ate a plate of Chinese food for breakfast, sabotaging my weight loss efforts. I felt guilty with every bite, but too tired to put it down. We couldn't get into our rhythm. We watched some Elmo, but laying on the couch not being able to slip into a deep sleep only made me feel more exhausted and pissed. I lost my temper with him once, and hated myself for it. By late morning I put our shoes on, got in the car, and just went for a drive. We both needed to get out of the living room, away from the tantrums, and given the chance to just zone the eff out. The sunshine helped, too.
It worked like a charm. 20 minutes later he was asleep, and I was calm as I pulled back into the driveway. I put him down for his nap, and I laid down too. As I drifted off, I decided that the Bad Morning was over, and it did not have to make for a Bad Day.
We woke at 2pm. I fed Jeb a good lunch, and I had a bowl of Kashi GoLean and a banana. We played and cleaned up the downstairs. I vacuumed and did 2 loads of laundry. We danced and made the beds. (Why does a clean house ALWAYS help my mood?) I did a Jillian Micheals work out with my cans of black beans, and Jeb followed along with his cans of corn. I heard from Bennett that we have a dinner date with a business associate, and MIL is available to baby sit on short notice. I showered and even blow dried my hair.
Whew. It's been a busy, but awesome afternoon. This morning I was all "I'm not doing anything today. Hmmph." I took that attitude almost out of spite. Like I was giving the universe the finger, and being miserable and unproductive was going to get back at it! I'm glad I know myself enough to know kicking it into gear is the best remedy for the crankies, and being lazy only feeds the beast.
So, my cute pants are in the dryer, I smell good and feel good after my lean lunch and workout and shower (I'm going to stop beating myself up about the Chinese food any minute. I swear.) Jeb is going to have an awesome date with Grandma. The house is clean. My afternoon coffee is divine.
All is good.