Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Father's Day :)

I am so excited for Father's Day this year. I think I enjoy Father's Day even more than I enjoy Mother's Day. I love celebrating B even more than I love being celebrated. He is such a fantastic father, it makes me tear up to think about it.

My father was/is not very good. He's got some issues that prevent him from being a very good dad. That is my non-angry way of explaining it. We haven't had a relationship in years. (How cliche: birthmom had shitty dad and then slept around looking for approval from men. Pretty textbook, eh?) For years Father's Day made me kind of sad. I wanted the kind of dad who deserved being celebrated. I wanted all that father-daughter-y shit.

I was 18 weeks pregnant for B's "first" Father's Day. In my mind, I had all kinds of ideas about how different Father's Days would be from then on. Well, B chose to go away for a "guys weekend". I flipped. It was a major communication snafu, and throw in some pregnancy hormones? It wasn't pretty. The last 2 Father's Days have been much better, and much less dramatic ;)

I feel like one of the best things I've done for Jeb is to give him a good father. It was one of the big reasons I placed Colin; his birthdad and I were never going to create a stable home together. I sometimes get jealous of people who have awesome dads, and ensuring my kids have one has been really healing on that front. You know that whole notion about wanting your kids to have more/better than you did? Well, for me, that means giving my kids a good dad. And I have. And I'm really proud of him, but also of myself for that.

So, this weekend, I have a couple of surprises in store for B, and I can't wait! Jeb is going on a sleep over at my mother-in-law's on Sat night. This will be his first sleep over at her house (he's done a couple at my mom's) and they are both so excited they can't see straight. I made dinner reservations at B's fav seafood restaurant, and then we're going for drinks at a dock-side bar on the water in our city. I have a cute sun dress all picked out, and the forecast looks terrific. I got him a great new Hawaiian shirt (he's mental for them), and am taking him to get a set of (used) golf clubs. He's been wanting a set of his own. Sunday will be a lazy family day.... perfection.

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