Wednesday, June 30, 2010

There should be a secret handshake.

Next door to me lives a family with a 2 year old. The boy joined their family through adoption, which is obvious because it's a transracial adoption. I only mention this because adoption has never come up in conversation, but I know he's adopted. They are super nice, and we run into each other often because we are always out playing in the yard. We frequently make the nice neighbor small talk, and talk about the boys who get along great. We only moved here in September, and our relationship is still very much an "acquaintanceship" and not quiet "friendship". I really like them, and really hope that we get closer and maybe become good friends, but it takes time. I'm rambling. Anyway, I outed my birthmotherhood to Mrs. Neighbor this week. I'd always wanted to share with them that I'm a member of the triad, too, but I was waiting for the right moment, kwim? So the other day the boys were running through the sprinkler together and we were chatting, and I kind of just blurted out "I'm a birthmother, I have a 12 year old as well, and we have an open adoption". Well, then it got kind of awkward. Mrs. Neighbor was super nice, as always, and said some nice things about open adoption (theirs is not open), and then it was quiet and then the subject changed. I was feeling sheepish, and suddenly started questioning myself why have I wanted to share this with her so badly?! What an idiot I am! But really, I wanted to tell her so badly because they are such a great family and I am so thrilled for them and I wanted them to know that I'm cool and and and.... I don't know. In my fantasy, we would hold hands and jump and laugh and talk about how much we love our kids and she would be so happy to live next door to someone who "gets it" about adoption.

I feel like such a dork.

There should be a special wink, or nod, or handshake so as to avoid awkward "outings".

1 comment:

  1. This is sooo something I would do! I agree on the secret handshake. We need to come up with something.

    Our hiking pack is an Evenflo. It's a hand me down so I don't have too many details but it's pretty light and the frame is adjustable so it can accommodate various heights. Nora loved it!