Friday, March 26, 2010

16 and Pregnant

I don't typically watch the show, but I happened to be flipping around and found the episode about the girl considering placing her baby. She is an adoptee and her parents really really want her to place.

What a tough situation. Some of the things the mom says are way out of line, in my opinion. They really border on coercion, which makes me feel all sorts of icky inside. On the flip side, if this girl parents, her parents are taking on a huge commitment too. Whether they like it or not, they are going to help out a lot. Should the parents have some say? My gut says "no", it's really only the girl's decision, but it's hard because it affects so many people.

It's obvious the girl's mom is very pro-adoption; of course she is, it allowed her to have a family. It's almost like she is taking it personally that the girl is hesitant. The mom talks often about how much better the girl's life has been because of the choice that her birthmom made. (wow, this would have been easier to write about had I remembered any names!) I think it is really unfair of the mom to play on the girl's emotions like that. Every adoption is its own situation. Every adoptee who has an unintentional pregnancy isn't obligated to choose adoption as well as a sign to the world that they are cool with their own adoption! How crazy! Also, the girl seems to be processing her own feelings of loss wrt her adoption; I'm sure she is thinking about some feelings she would like to spare her own child. What an incredibly loaded situation. I wish the mom would back off; if this girl does choose to place, she needs to be able to own that decision and not look back years from now and think she got coerced.

I think this this is about as hard as a situation can get. If girl wants to parent and her parents are supportive: fantastic. If girl wants to place and her parents are supportive: also fantastic. If girl wants to place and her parents want her to parent: that's sad, but girl's parents will have to deal with it. But this? Girl wants to parent and needs her parents help but they are not supportive? Hard, hard, hard.

I really just should not watch the show. Most of the situations they follow are total trainwrecks, and the adoption stories are too triggery. I can't stand watching such a difficult decision get exploited.

No comments:

Post a Comment