Whirlwind

I feel like the weeks are whizzing by at the speed of light. I keep waiting for everything to slow down, just a little bit. I think after next week when X is over we can chill or once X month has passed things will slow down. IT NEVER SEEMS TO HAPPEN. As soon as we get past X month or X event, obviously another one pops up. Appointments, B travelling for work, birthdays, oil changes (I really need to get my oil changed!!), dinners with MIL because she doesn't get to see Jeb all that much, play dates squeezed in because I haven't seen my friends in months, etc. Oh, and working full time nights. And owning a small business. And being landlords. And keeping a household running (somewhat) smoothly. And the toddler that simultaneously makes life faster and more intense, and also throws a huge wrench into any sense of efficiency when it comes to taking care of anything else.

There are ~3 evenings a week that are strictly family time, and I guard that time fiercely. (The other evenings are: work-3 MIL-1) They are my favorite. I wish all day everyday were Family Time. Jeb loves Family Time. I can see it written all over his face that he just loves nothing more than when the 3 of us are together, just being together. I feel the same way.

It's hard to find the balance of enjoying the here and now, when here and now is such a whirlwind. My biggest fear is that I'll look back and think I didn't enjoy the craziness of a young family while it was happening. There are many days when I resist and resent the craziness. I want just a little more down time. A little more prep time. A little more room for spontaneity. More mornings in bed lounging with my husband while the nanny makes breakfast for Jeb and puts out fresh coffee and fruit for whenever we make our way downstairs........ Ok, that might be a little much.

So, things are not going to slow down. In fact they will probably continue to speed on full blast for some time. It might sound silly, but this is actually just kind of dawning on me. Life will continue to be fast, and intense, and full, and I have no choice but to keep up. And enjoy it.